Patriot Bill's Dispatch

Privacy Policy for Patriot Bill's Dispatch

Last updated: May 29, 2025

We value your privacy the way Founding Fathers valued their parchment—and no, we won’t be spying on you like some 18th-century redcoats. Here’s what you need to know:

1. What We Collect Just the essentials: your name, email, and maybe a witty comment or two. No retina scans, no DNA swabs, and definitely no geotracking (unless you send us a map with a treasure X on it—then we’re listening).

2. What We Do With It We use your info to:

• Send you dispatches from the front lines of liberty.

• Respond to your messages.

• Keep the bots at bay.

That’s it. We don’t sell, lease, or auction your data to third parties. Not even for a truckload of gold doubloons.

3. Third-Party Services We may partner with third-party tools (like email services or site hosting) that help us run this ship. These partners are under strict agreements and can’t use your info for their own shady agendas.

4. Data Retention We keep your data only as long as necessary. If you’re inactive for over a year or ask us nicely, we’ll erase your info faster than you can say “constitutional convention.”

5. Children’s Privacy This dispatch is for grown-up patriots. We don’t knowingly collect data from anyone under 13. If we find out we did, we’ll delete it faster than a redcoat retreat.

6. Cookies We use the boring kind that help the website run, not the chocolate chip ones (sadly). You can clear them anytime you want.

7. Your Rights You can:

• Ask what data we have.

• Request that we delete it.

• Tell us to stop emailing you.

Just send a message to darkstar1770@yahoo.com, and we’ll respond faster than a minuteman on horseback.

8. Changes If we update this policy, we’ll announce it like Paul Revere on a midnight ride (except digitally).

Terms of Service for Patriot Bill's Dispatch

Last updated: May 29, 2025

By visiting Patriot Bill’s Dispatch, you agree to these terms. If you don’t, we still love you—but maybe take your scroll elsewhere.

1. Content is Free, But Use It Wisely You can read, share, and discuss all you want. Just don’t copy-paste it into your manifesto without credit.

2. Be Civil We support free speech, but not free insults. Trolls will be booted faster than tea off a Boston ship.

3. No Liability for Your Rants Opinions shared in comments or guest posts are those of the author. Patriot Bill isn’t liable if Uncle Ted goes viral for something he said in your reply thread.

4. Content May Contain Opinions If you’re looking for sterile neutrality, this might not be your cup of liberty tea. Our dispatches include commentary, satire, and occasional rhetorical fireworks.

5. User Content Responsibility If you post content here, you affirm it’s yours, legal, and not a coded message from King George. We reserve the right to remove anything offensive, unlawful, or unpatriotic (like pineapple on pizza—just kidding… mostly).

6. Termination Clause We reserve the right to ban anyone who breaks these rules or acts like a tyrant. Life, liberty, and civility, please.

7. Governing Law These terms are governed by the laws of the United States, because even liberty needs a rulebook.

8. Updates We reserve the right to change these terms. We’ll try to be transparent about it, but let’s be honest—if you made it this far, you’re already ahead of 95% of the internet.